BOOSTING YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE
Building Self-Confidence: A Guide for Men to Break Isolation and Thrive
In a world where self-assurance often feels elusive, building self-confidence is crucial for personal growth and well-being. Many men find it challenging to express their feelings, leading to isolation and diminished confidence. At We Are Mentality, we understand these struggles and are here to guide you on a journey towards greater self-belief.
Check out the article written by Actor and Trainer Tim Gutteridge here, where he gives some excellent advice on how to speak to others with confidence.
UNDERSTANDING SELF-CONFIDENCE
Self-confidence is the belief in your abilities and worth.
It's not about being perfect, but about trusting yourself and embracing your uniqueness. Building this confidence takes time, but each step forward is a victory.
STEPS TO BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE
1. START WITH SELF-ACCEPTANCE
Accepting yourself as you are, with all your strengths and imperfections, is foundational. Recognise that everyone has flaws and that they do not define your worth. Practice self-compassion and treat yourself with kindness.
2. SET ACHIEVABLE GOALS
Break down your aspirations into small, manageable goals. Each accomplishment, no matter how minor, builds confidence. Celebrate these successes to reinforce your self-belief.
3. EMBRACE VULNERABILITY
Opening up about your feelings can be empowering. Share your experiences with trusted friends or family. This vulnerability creates deeper connections and reduces feelings of isolation, reinforcing your sense of belonging.
4. ENGAGE IN POSITIVE SELF-TALK
Challenge negative thoughts by replacing them with affirmations. Remind yourself of your strengths and past achievements. Positive self-talk can shift your mindset and boost your confidence over time.
5. PRACTICE SELF-CARE
Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is crucial. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate rest enhance your mood and energy levels, contributing to a more confident outlook.
6. STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Growth happens when you challenge yourself. Try new activities or engage in social situations that push your boundaries. Each new experience is an opportunity to learn and grow.
7. SEEK SUPPORT WHEN NEEDED
Professional guidance can be beneficial. Therapy or counselling provides a safe space to explore insecurities and develop strategies for building confidence.
THE CONNECTION TO LONELINESS
As discussed in our article on loneliness, isolation can undermine confidence. By fostering connections and engaging with others, you not only combat loneliness but also reinforce your self-worth. Joining clubs, volunteering, and practising active listening are excellent ways to build both friendships and confidence.
A JOURNEY WORTH TAKING
Building self-confidence is a personal journey that requires patience and persistence. At We Are Mentality, we're here to support you every step of the way. Remember, progress is not always linear, but each effort brings you closer to becoming the confident, resilient person you aspire to be.
By embracing these steps, you are not just building self-confidence - you are transforming your life. Let us walk this path together, towards a future filled with self-assurance and fulfilment.
5 TIPS ON HOW TO FEEL CONFIDENT WHEN TALKING TO PEOPLE
by Tim Gutteridge
Knowing how to present yourself is important, but truly influential people understand how to communicate with their audience.
The 6th most popular Ted talk of all time is on “How to speak so people will listen” by Julian Treasure.
With 5 new Ted talks published every week this is no mean feat.
It’s testament to how many people want their voice heard.
To put it another way, clearly many people want to be listened to and feel they aren’t!
It’s easy to feel we’re lacking the X factor that makes people stand up and take notice.
Perhaps we feel ignored, underestimated, and undervalued.
Julian Treasure has another Ted talk called “5 ways to listen better”. This talk is significantly less popular than his other.
We tend to focus on ourselves to feel confident. Take a second and think about how you look, sound, and move.
I imagine you feel more self-conscious now than you did a few seconds ago…
Let’s get out of our heads for a minute. Let’s go back to the adage of treat others how we wish to be treated.
Ask yourself the question:
If you are talking to someone, what do you want from the other person?
I assume you want them to listen and take notice.
Remember, influential people don’t focus on making themselves feel good.
They make OTHERS feel good.
Let’s start with that.
1. Be genuinely curious, and you will have something to say
Be curious about the world, people, about everything. If you’re not curious about others, why would they be curious about you? This isn’t something you can fake. If you engage, you will be engaging.
2. Always listen, be present in the moment
You cannot control a conversation that hasn’t happened yet. You may have an idea in your head of how you want an interaction to go. Interaction is live, be present in the moment. You’ve probably experienced the simple charm of someone remembering your name in conversation. Remember how that felt. Listen without judgement.
3. Everyone wants to be heard
People feel comfortable when they are heard and acknowledged. You do not have to know how someone feels or have a similar life story. If someone is telling you about a grievance acknowledge their feeling. They will feel they have been given space.
4. Don't try to be perfect, be authentic
We imagine ourselves as either amazing or terrible when we interact with others. Neither is true. Trying to be perfect can appear inauthentic. I once witnessed someone bring out this brilliant line. “If I appear nervous, that’s because I am”. I loved that phrase. The room warmed to him and in his own style he had people eating out the palm of his hand. I was listening to someone honest. It made me trust them.
5. Read the room
You can plan everything you want to achieve in a conversation, but you need to be aware of your surroundings and the person in front of you. Take a second to consider how to approach the conversation. Take in the space and the people you are communicating with. Is the space small or large? What mood is the person I’m talking to in? Are they showing open or closed body language? What will they respond to? Take a moment to be aware of that.
PERSONAL BLURB
I trained as a professional actor and practised techniques of how to present my voice, body, and thoughts. As a former detective & Master of Ceremonies in the City of London I have been in many unusual, high-pressure communications with people from all walks of life. I hope to share my experiences on how I handled challenging interactions and walked away feeling content.
TIM GUTTERIDGE
